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First dates are filled with unknowns: What if you don’t hit it off? What if they’re nothing like you expected? What if they don’t want to share dessert (an immediate red flag)? This is especially true when you’re meeting someone in person for the first time. While finding safe first date ideas for your Tinder match may feel like it adds a level of awkwardness to an already awkward situation, it’s important to prioritize your safety first and foremost.
There are plenty of precautions you can take before you even meet up for the first time. Experts say it’s best not to give away too much personal information (i.e. your full name, your exact address, your social security number and bank routing number) while initially getting to know someone via dating app. No need to disguise yourself entirely (It’s kind of necessary for the other person to know what you look like). But maybe wait until you’ve been a few dates before adding them on Facebook or letting them know your apartment number.
Though it may seem like overkill, it is unfortunately necessary to keep your guard up a little. (Anyone with internet access and a mother has likely heard the dating app horror stories.) Just be smart: let a friend know where you’re going to be, meet in a public place, and drive yourself to/from the date. Maybe familiarize yourself with Apple’s emergency SOS call feature or download one of these safe dating apps.
And if you’re worried about having to come up with a clever first date idea on top of all of that? Have no fear. Here are nine safe first date ideas for you and person you swiped right on.
If you’re looking for a daytime date idea, why not go for coffee. A cafe has all the makings of a safe first date meeting point: it’s a mutual public space, there will be plenty of people around, and you likely won’t be leaving in the dark. Plus, there is coffee.
Again, finding a popular, public place to meet up is one of the easiest ways to ensure your safety. Happy hour is doubly perfect since you know there will be plenty of people around should you not feel safe one-on-one. Dinner at your favorite local restaurant is also a great option if you’re looking for public date places and want to limit how much you’re drinking.
Nervous about not having enough to talk about on a first date? Cheering on the home team will give you plenty of conversation fodder. While definitely more of a time commitment, you won’t have to worry about being completely alone with your date, if you’re feeling uncomfortable.
Seeing a band or a comedy show is perfect if you’re looking for something with similar safety precautions as a sporting event...but with less sports.
Experts say goal-oriented date activities can be a great way to foster teamwork. Additionally, a little friendly competition can be a fun way to get to know someone. Bowling is also less isolated than, say, rock climbing or golfing, if you’re looking for a date idea that’s both safe and active.
Taking a walk can be great for conversation, but it’s probably best if you’re not meeting someone for the first time on a secluded hiking trail. Try walking and talking around a museum or art gallery for all that great conversation minus the seclusion/bugs.
Still want to take a walk outside? Meet up at your city’s zoo. That way you can enjoy some casual conversation outside in a safer way than the aforementioned secluded trail.
Board games and video games are a great date go-to. But, for safety’s sake, it’s best if you don’t meet up for the first date at your place or their place. Instead, check out your local barcade or hang out at a coffee shop that has a stash of board games on hand.
If you aren’t sure about committing to sitting down for an entire meal, just meet up for dessert. Stop by ice cream place or hang out at a bakery. You’ll feel less pressure stay longer than you’re comfortable since no one takes that long to eat a cookie, right? Plus, you can do that cute thing where you each get a different dessert and then share/convince them to give you both desserts.
This timeline of online dating services also includes broader events related to technology-assisted dating (not just online dating). Where there are similar services, only major ones or 'the first of its kind' are listed.
| Year (month and date) | Event | Venue |
|---|---|---|
| 1959 | Happy Families Planning Services launches. Started by Jim Harvey and Phil Fialer as a class project at Stanford. Used a questionnaire and an IBM 650 to match 49 men and 49 women. | |
| 1963 | Ed Lewis at Iowa State University uses a questionnaire and an IBM computer 'to optimize the meeting potential at dances'.[1] | |
| 1964 | St. James Computer Dating Service (later to become Com-Pat) launches. Joan Ball started the first commercially run computer generated matchmaking company. The first set of matchups was run in 1964.[2] | |
| 1965 | Operation Match (part of Compatibility Research Inc.) launches. Started by Jeff Tarr and Vaughan Morrill at Harvard. Used a questionnaire and an IBM 1401 to match students. There was a $3 fee for submitting a questionnaire. 'By the fall of sixty-five, six months after the launch, some ninety thousand Operation Match questionnaires had been received, amounting to $270,000 in gross profits, about $1.8 million in [2014]'s dollars.'[1] In the 1960s there still was no stigma about computer-assisted matching. | |
| 1965 | Eros (Contact Inc.) launches. Started by David Dewan at MIT. Used a dating questionnaire and Honeywell 200. 'In one distribution of questionnaires, he drew eleven thousand responses at $4 each, or $44,000 in gross profits, about $250,000 in [2014]'s dollars.'[1] | |
| 1965 | The New York Review of Books personals column makes a comeback. Slater writes:
| Magazine |
| 1968 | Data-Mate launches. Questionnaire-based matching service started at MIT.[3] | |
| 1970s, early | Phase II is founded. A 'computer-dating company' started by James Schur.[1] | |
| 1974 | Cherry Blossoms' mail-order bride catalog launches. Slater calls Cherry Blossoms 'one of the oldest mail-order bride agencies'. Started by John Broussard. | |
| 1976 | Great Expectations is founded. Video dating service started by Jeffrey Ullman.[4][5] The service achieved some notability, but it never overcame stigma. There were also apparently other video dating services like Teledate and Introvision, but it's nearly impossible to find anything about them online. | |
| 1980s | messageries roses (pink chat rooms) launches chat rooms for dating (using the Minitel network) started by Marc Simoncini. France. | |
| 1986[6] | Matchmaker Electronic Pen-Pal Network launches. A bulletin board system for romance started by Jon Boede and Scott Smith. Matchmaker grew to 14 local BBSs throughout the US. Eventually people lost interest as BBSs lost out to the World Wide Web, and Matchmaker was superseded by Matchmaker.com. | |
| 1987 | TelePersonals is created as a separate telephone dating system in Toronto, Canada from an earlier 'Personals' dating section of a telephone classified business. As part of an advertising program a selection of ads appear on the back pages of Now Magazine, the Canadian equivalent of the Village Voice. Services in different cities around the Toronto area are launched. A gay option is quickly added. The gay section becomes its own branded service. At the very beginning of the 2000s TelePersonals launches online and is rebranded as Lava Life with sections for cities across the United States and Canada. | Telephone, later Web |
| 1989 | Scanna International launches. Mail-order bride service focusing on Russia and Eastern Europe. | |
| 1994 | Kiss.com launches. The first modern dating website. | |
| 1995 | Yid.com launched as the first Jewish dating service and the first dating site in South Africa | Web |
| 1995 | Match.com launches. Started by Gary Kremen. | |
| 1997 | JDate launches dating service targeted at Jewish singles | |
| 1997 | Shaadi.com launches. It is an online wedding service founded by Anupam Mittal in 1997. October 1998, Sanjeev Bikhchandani, founder and executive vice chairman of Info Edge India, started the matrimonial website | |
| 1998 | Jeevansathi.com launches. October 1998, Sanjeev Bikhchandani, founder and executive vice chairman of Info Edge India, started the matrimonial website. | |
| 1999 | Gaydar launches. Founded in November 1999 by London-based South Africans Gary Frisch and his partner Henry Badenhorst, the website was once the world's most popular gay online dating site it grew into a portfolio of websites and an award-winning radio station. | Web later App |
| 2000 | eHarmony launches. Online dating service for long-term relationships. | |
| 2000 | BharatMatrimony launches. Murugavel Janakiraman started the BharatMatrimony website in 2000[7] while working as a software consultant for Lucent Technologies in Edison, N.J. In the late 1990s he set up a Tamil community web portal, which included matrimonial ads. He started BharatMatrimony after noticing the matrimonial ads generated most of his web traffic | |
| 2001 | Christian Mingle launches dating service for Christian singles | |
| 2002 | Friendster is launched. A friendship, dating and early general Social networking website all rolled into one. In 2005 Facebook copies and expands the idea into a general social interconnected website. | Web |
| 2002 | PlanetRomeo is launched as GayRomeo in October 2002 initially only available in German but now available in 6 languages. The majority of the sites users are based in Europe. | Web later App |
| 2002 | Dudesnude is launched as a networking site for gay men. The company slogan is 'picture, video, and profile sharing for men!' | Web |
| 2002 | Ashley Madison is launched as a networking service for extramarital relationships. | |
| 2002 | PrimeSingles.net launches as a dating service for singles over 50. This name changes to Single Seniors Meet in 2009 and to SilverSingles in 2011 | |
| 2003 | Proxidating launches. Dating service that used Bluetooth to 'alert users when a person with a matching profile was within fifty feet'.[1] | |
| 2003 | PlentyOfFish launches. | Web |
| 2004 | OkCupid launches. | Web |
| 2006 | Spark Networks, owner of niche dating sites like Jdate and Christian Mingle, goes public.[7] | |
| 2006 | Badoo launches as a dating-focused social networking service | |
| 2006 | SeekingArrangement launches. A sugar daddy/sugar baby site in the US. | |
| 2007 | Skout launches. A 'location-based social networking and dating application and website'. | |
| 2007 | Crazy Blind Date launches. Blind dating service started by Sam Yagan. | |
| 2007 | Zoosk launches. A global online-dating service started by Shayan Zadeh and Alex Mehr. | |
| 2008 | GenePartner launches matching service based on 'DNA compatibility'.[8] | |
| 2009 | Grindr launches, focussing on gay, bi and trans people. | App |
| 2010 | Scruff launches, focussing on gay, bisexual, and transgender men, adding in 2013 a HIV-positive community. | App |
| 2011 | LikeBright launches. Online dating site by Nick Soman.[9] By 2014 the site shut down.[10] | Web |
| 2011 | Dating group Spark Networks acquires Senior Singles Meet (formerly PrimeSingles) and changes the name to SilverSingles | |
| 2011 (July) | Momo, a Chinese social search and instant messaging app launches. | |
| 2011 (September) | Blendr, designed to connect like-minded people, launches. | |
| 2012(?) | Highlight launches. Slater calls it a 'location-based dating app'. | App |
| 2012 | Tinder launches. | App |
| 2012 | Hinge launches, an app 'designed to be deleted' | App |
| 2014 (Passover) | JSwipe launches. A dating app for Jewish millennials. | App |
| 2014 | Bristlr launches, facilitating communication between bearded men and women who love beards. | |
| 2014 (July) | 3nder starts facilitating communication between people interested in polyamory, kink, swinging, and other alternative sexual preferences. | |
| 2014 (September) | Spoonr starts facilitating communication between strangers who live within walking distance from each other. | |
| 2014 (December) | Bumble launches, a location-based mobile app that permits only women to start a chat with their matches.[11] | |
| 2015 | Personal information of Ashley Madison users stolen and released. | |
| 2015 | Huggle starts connecting users based on commonality of places they frequent. | |
| 2015 | Yellow, a Tinder for teens, launches in France and in 2017 in the US. | |
| 2015 | Jdate owners Spark Networks Inc buy JSwipe from Smooch Labs.[12] | |
| 2015 (November 19) | Match Group, which owns and operates several online dating web sites including OkCupid, Tinder, PlentyOfFish, and Match.com, goes public. | |
| 2017 | Affinitas GmbH (owner of dating websites like EliteSingles and eDarling) merges with Spark Networks, Inc, (owner of dating websites like Christian Mingle, Jdate, and SilverSingles) to create Spark Networks SE | |
| 2019 | Spark Networks SE acquires Zoosk, forming North America's second-largest dating company in revenues.[13] | |
| 2020 | Spark dating app launches in Canada with a focus on creative matchmaking[14] | App |
| 2021 | Beyond Dating app launches in India focusing on Interest matching, Profile Shorting Mode, and a unique Barrier. The Barrier is a personal matching test to get matched with the desired person. | App |
Dominance of online dating[edit]
A 2017 survey tracked the change in how Americans meet their spouses and romantic partners since 1940. The results showed a steep increase in the proportion of couples whose first interaction occurred through online media.[15][16]
Good First Message Dating App
See also[edit]
References[edit]
- ^ abcdefSlater, Dan. A Million First Dates.
- ^Hicks, Marie (2016). 'Computer Love: Replicating Social Order Through Early Computer Dating Systems'. Ada: A Jornal of Gender, New Media and Technology. ISSN2325-0496.
- ^Lawrence Krakauer writes about his experiences here.
- ^Ullman, Jeff. 'Jeff Ullman'. LinkedIn. Retrieved December 4, 2016.
Great Expectations (video dating) December 1975 – January 1997 (21 years 2 months) Created, served as CEO, and primary international media spokesperson for 'Great Expectations', which we built into the world's largest introduction service for singles (aka, 'video dating').
- ^Wallace, Amy (January 16, 1994). 'Love God From Hell : The Man Who Brought You Videodating Hates to Date, Loves to Taunt and Has Himself Been Unlucky in Love. Would You Buy a Relationship From Jeffrey Ullman?'. Los Angeles Times. Retrieved December 4, 2016. Dan Slater references this article.
- ^Slater, Dan.
- ^Gelsi, Steve. 'Spark Networks files $75 million IPO'. MarketWatch. Retrieved 2019-11-20.
- ^Arrington, Michael (July 22, 2008). 'Ok, We Have Our First DNA-Based Dating Service: GenePartner'. TechCrunch. Retrieved December 4, 2016.
- ^Soper, Taylor (December 20, 2013). 'Matchmaking platform LikeBright raising $1M to help singles land a 2nd date'. GeekWire. Retrieved December 4, 2016.
- ^Soper, Taylor (September 18, 2014). 'Matchmaking platform LikeBright morphs into Reveal, a new anonymous chat app'. GeekWire. Retrieved December 4, 2016.
- ^'Bumble is a dating app where women take lead'. Thestar. Retrieved 3 June 2015.
- ^'JDate Bought JSwipe and Everyone Loves Each Other Now'. Observer. 2015-10-15. Retrieved 2019-11-20.
- ^'Spark Networks SE Closes Zoosk, Inc. Acquisition'. finance.yahoo.com. Retrieved 2019-11-20.
- ^'Spark Networks Launches 'Creativity-Focused' Dating App 'Spark''. Global Dating Insights. 2020-06-25. Retrieved 2021-01-22.
- ^'How Couples Meet and Stay Together SSDS Social Science Data Collection'. data.stanford.edu. Retrieved 2019-12-07.
- ^'How Couples Meet and Stay Together 2017 (HCMST2017) SSDS Social Science Data Collection'. data.stanford.edu. Retrieved 2019-12-07.