Dating App Introduction

  

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Why There Is No Such Thing As Online Dating And Why Dating Apps Are Merely Introduction Apps. Offline vs Online Dating. Online Dating Misconceptions, Mistakes

Online dating is a term that has been applied loosely to anything involving digital apps and websites aimed at connecting people via online profiles, photos and some sort of swiping, clicking or messaging.

Creating a profile on Tinder — is that online dating? Uploading photos to Bumble — is that online dating? Sending a message, wink or like — is that online dating? Depending on whom you ask, you might get a slew of contradicting answers.

Is Online or Offline Dating Better?

You don’t date online. You use apps to get introduced to each other and then date offline in person. Both strategies of meeting people on dating apps and in person are not mutually exclusive and should be used in tandem, but each approach requires a certain set of skills that not all people have.

How To Approach Dating Apps; What’s The Point Of Online Dating

In order to get the most out of dating apps, you need to be in a good place in your life and give it an honest effort. Dipping your toes in the water with incomplete profiles, bad photos, lack of self-awareness or no clue as to what apps are best can be a recipe for disaster on your mental health and well-being.

The first 72 hours of dating apps are extremely important in that those first impressions will dictate who sees your profile, how often it is shown and ultimately how well you will do on dating apps.

Online dating is a misnomer. You don’t online date — you meet someone via an online dating website or app. It is merely an introduction — view it as another channel to meet people in addition to your day-to-day life i.e. work, school, bar, art gallery, grocery store etc. Once you meet someone via online dating site/app you exchange a few messages and agree to meet offline.

Online Dating vs. Traditional Dating

People should ideally use apps to supplement their offline efforts to meeting people. If you are not good at meeting people organically, offline, dating apps may not be helpful. Dating app usage should be limited to 20 minutes a day, 3 times a week to start.

Once you match, it will take more time to cultivate relationships to lead to actual dates. Talk, flirt, establish chemistry and move offline sooner than later. Do not overly invest yourself in a stranger you have not met. Talk to others, don’t talk every day and spend too much time with a stranger until you meet in person.

If you are have not seen any traction in 3 months of creating a dating profile, take a break, get independent help with your dating profile: photos, bio, app choice, wardrobe, smile, prompts and first lines.

How Many Messages Are Needed To Secure A Date From A Dating App

Typically, 3–10+ messages are needed to secure a date or at least present the initial date idea (a few additional messages might be needed to confirm a date, time, location and details). This is a rough framework in which you should approach messaging a girl once you match (or vice versa if on Bumble and the woman needs to initiate conversation)

-1 message to say hi and mention something you saw on her profile and a follow-up question regarding clarification or more information re: photo, experience etc.

-1 message to introduce a date idea with specific day, time and location and nearby alternative plans i.e. walk, event or walking tour*

-1 message to confirm the date or present another option if plan A does not work for her.

If you are not quite ready to meet in person, that is ok but inevitably that should be your main goal if you are on dating apps and interested in the person you are chatting with. Video dates are a good bridge to verify identity and move beyond texting.

The Biggest Mistakes Made When Communicating After Matching On Dating Apps

The biggest problem people face when exchanging messages is spending too much time going back and forth with endless banter or flat comments. Look at other references, background info or other more interesting queues in which you can comment on from photos and profile info.

If you and/or the person you matched with does not have anything interesting on your photos or profile from which to initiate conversation, go back to the drawing board. Get better photos and rewrite your profile — help the other person out but do not go overboard and write your entire life story.

When it comes to the date idea — be unique, be creative and do some research! Grabbing coffee sounds boring but if you suggest grabbing coffee and going for an architecture tour, street art walk or floating houseboat tour, that sounds more interesting.

Researching dates, curating experiences and putting forth the effort go a long way. Do not become jaded if a woman turns you down. Move on. Similarly, if a woman seems unenthusiastic or dull, move on as well. Guys need to set the tone and put in the effort not only to get the ball rolling but to gauge interest.

Do not waste your time messaging back and forth. Be polite, enthusiastic, and direct. The more you try to play it safe or try to beat around the bush the more likely the other person will lose interest. If the woman has already matched with a guy, she has expressed interest in him, and he should respond accordingly.

If a woman flakes, do not take it personally. Move on. There are a lot of people on apps/sites who are curious or lack serious motivation to meet in person. Use good judgment and stop making excuses for the other person.

What Does Online Dating Mean? What Should It Mean?

Online dating typically refers to the act of creating a dating profile, browsing profiles, messaging and setting up dates. In theory, it should mean purely a means for introduction only i.e. met via a dating app and not used as a verb i.e. I am online dating. Use the same rules, principles and guidance you would for meeting people offline.

Don’t think online dating is different in that people are more honest about themselves. Be cautiously optimistic. Don’t waste time on those that don’t match your effort, enthusiasm and responsiveness. Ask questions, take your time to get to know someone as you don’t have those queues available when you meet offline, organically.

Is Online Dating Better Than Real Life Dating? Online Dating vs Meeting In Real Life

Even though once you meet in person all bets are off, there are some strong biases with dating apps. Most people are more selective on dating apps than they are in person. Abundance of choice forces people to constantly compare one profile to the next. Those that take bad photos, are charming, or have other attributes not easily captured via photos may have a harder time with dating apps. Dating apps require good photos and good context to tell stories, reveal personality and convey trust.

Should You Use Dating Apps? Is It Worth Trying Online Dating?

In order to have some success with online dating, you have to be confident and approachable to have a good shot at matching and eventually meeting others from the app offline. Dating apps are extremely competitive and requires creativity, thick skin, patience, solid photos, self-awareness, and enough content in a profile to seem interesting.

Most people hate writing about themselves and this is a huge roadblock as people need information to make informed decisions about whom to talk to. Creating a good profile is only step 1 in becoming successful with online dating, you have to have good conversation skills, date planning skills, enough hobbies, interests and diverse lifestyle to keep up with banter, flirting and conversations.

Typically, online dating is much easier for those that are social, know how to communicate well and have done well meeting people offline. It’s important to have a solid offline, social basis from which to connect with individuals. Once you meet offline, all bets are off. You need offline, in person skills to do well. Not too many people can deal with rejection, harsh realities, misrepresentation that goes on with online dating so proceed with caution.

Additional Reading

Online Dating Photo Guide – Introduction to Dating App Pictures

About Eddie Hernandez

Eddie Hernandez is an online dating consultant and rofessional photographer specializing in natural, candid online dating photos. Featured in the SFGate, ABC7News, East Bay Express, Salon; contributor to Good Men Project, Plenty Of Fish and Meddle. In addition to photos, he provides guidance around app choice, bio optimization, messaging techniques, wardrobe advice and date ideas. https://eddie-hernandez.com/contact/

Dating Profile Critique

For those of you who are remote or virtual dating help and are looking for anonline dating profile critiqueyou can read more about my services here.

For other helpful online dating tipscheck out my blog for more helpful advice: https://eddie-hernandez.com/blog/

Introduction

Online Dating Frequently Asked Questions(Photos, App Choice, Wardrobe, Messaging, Bios and More): https://eddie-hernandez.com/online-dating-frequently-asked-questions/

Dating App Introduction Title

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One of the hardest parts of the online dating process is making the first move.

It also happens to be one of the most important steps. How you introduce yourself will set the tone for the rest of your interactions. You see? You cannot afford to screw this up!

So,

What should you do or not do? Do you just say hey? Do you go all out with a romantic declaration of interest?

It is understandably daunting, but fortunately, it isn’t rocket science!

We’ve put together a few online dating introduction tips and tricks to help you get noticed.

How to Introduce Yourself Online (with Examples)

Start by actually introducing yourself (say your name!)

Just as you want to start by introducing yourself early in a conversation in real life, so you want to do when introducing yourself on a dating site as well.

Even though they can already see what your name is on your profile, say it anyway! It’s courteous to say a simple “I’m Jack.”

Try an unusual greeting

“Hey, what’s up” or “how’s it going?” are, in a word, boring. Almost every other person your match is talking to will use these greetings.

Endless option has uncovered the greatest Tnder opening message, after 2 years of tests. It is worth checking out.

If you want to stand out, you should make even a small effort to be more original in your greeting. For example, you could ask, “how’s your energy?” or “what’s something exciting that happened to you this week?” to spark curiosity.

Use their name

You should acknowledge the name of your match in your introduction as well. After all, everyone loves to hear their name!

In real life, when you’re greeting someone you know, use their name (i.e., “Hey Stephanie, what’s up?”) and notice how they perk up.

When you match with someone on a dating app, incorporate their name in your intro (i.e., “Hi Julia, I’m Jack”) and notice how they will likely become more eager in their conversation.

Tell them it’s nice to meet them

Telling someone it’s nice to meet them is one of the simplest intro lines for online dating you can use.

When you tell someone it’s nice to meet them, it’s essentially their obligation to reply. Continuing our previous example, you can say, “Hi Julia, I’m Jack. Nice to meet you.” This will increase the chances that your match responds.

Dating App Introduction Title

Start the conversation with an open-ended question

Perhaps the easiest way to get an interesting response from someone (other than a simple “good” or “not bad”) is to ask them an open-ended question.

The question should be interesting, compelling, fun, and romantically themed. Think, “Julia, what’s the most fun experience you’ve ever had with a guy?” or “Julia, what’s something you’ve always wanted to do with a guy but haven’t yet?”

Focus on things you have in common

One way to form a good connection with someone when you meet them is to talk about something that the two of you share in common. If you’re into hiking and see that your match has posted a photo of them in boots on a mountain, you can ask them about their hiking trip and then talk about a hike that you went on recently as well.

Pick something specific from their profile

Find something unique on your match’s profile picture and ask them about it. It shows them that you actually took the time to check them out and are not just using a generic response.

Don’t talk about yourself too much

It’s okay to talk about yourself, especially in response to your match’s questions, but try to keep the conversation more on them or balanced between the two of you. If they ask something about you, answer them and then direct the question back to them with a simple “what about you?”.

Be modest (if you’re a guy)

For guys especially, it’s very easy to be perceived by girls as creepy on dating apps. For this reason, be a bit modest in your responses.

For example, asking “what’s the most fun experience you’ve ever had with a guy?” is fine, but asking “what’s your favorite body part on a guy?” may be going a little bit too far (save a question like that for when you’ve met and are more comfortable with each other).

8 Dos and Don’ts in Dating Site Introductions

Be confident…

When it comes to drafting the first letter or first address to someone you are interested in online, the most important thing is confidence.

Confidence is not a personality trait – it’s something that you can learn. So, you don’t have to be a loud and bubbly life-of-the-party person to appear confident.

A little confidence goes a long way when it comes to breaking the ice with an online love interest. All you need is to have the guts to make the first move, no matter whether you are a man or a woman.

Taking charge shows your potential match that you know what you want and are not afraid to go for it.

… but not too confident

When it comes to introducing yourself, there actually IS such a thing as too much confidence. There’s a fine line between being the initiator in the interaction and being cocky.

Avoid things like being aggressive, bragging too much, and showing pride. These are a major turn off and will have you unmatched faster than you can say ‘me.’

Do not use cliché opening lines

Cheesy and cliché pick-up lines don’t work in offline dating, so they definitely don’t work in online dating either. So, by all means, please try to avoid them. They will make you seem unoriginal, which is a major turn off for many people.

Avoid physical compliments

People love receiving a compliment that they’re good looking. Everyone wants to hear the words “you’re really beautiful” or “you’re gorgeous” or “you’re handsome.”

The problem with online dating is that you have not seen that person in real life yet, so any physical compliments you make could come across as a little creepy (especially for guys directed at girls). As an alternative to physical compliments, use more general compliments instead.

Don’t be afraid to be quirky and funny

If you are naturally goofy and weird, then, by all means, let this side shine in your initial interaction.

Nothing breaks the ice better than a funny joke!

You could make it as simple as ‘Hey, my name is So-and-So. Would you like to hear a joke?’ and then proceed to prove your comical genius. This simple move could be what lands you the girl or the man of your dreams.

However, if you are not even remotely funny, then you should probably not try this.

Do not be rude, presumptuous, or in any way a jerk

If you want your first interaction to be successful, then you need to avoid being rude or in any way unpleasant. Don’t criticize their profiles or photos as this is the fastest way to get someone to lose interest in you.

If you are using the website for casual hookups, it is important to be upfront about it as early as possible. However, this doesn’t mean that you straight up offer the hookup before even saying hi. Take time to know the other person and figure out whether or not they want the same thing before suggesting it.

Keep it short

The last thing you want to happen is to write a big long message that you are proud of, only to not get a reply. You want to make things as easy as possible for the other person, so they are more likely to respond, and this means making shorter comments.

Introduce yourself, make a comment on their profile, and potentially ask a question. That’s all you need to get started., especially if you are an international dating site.

Don’t front; just be yourself

Finally, it is important to stay true to yourself in the first introduction. Whatever you do, do not pretend to be funny or serious when you’re really not.

Just do what feels right naturally. If you want to start with a simple ‘hi,’ then go for it. If you want to go all out with a cute poem, then go for it.

Just make sure you back it up with a touch of confidence and charm, and it will work for the right person.

Conclusion

It can be nerve-wracking figuring out how to introduce yourself on a vegan dating site to this complete stranger who has caught your attention. However, with the Dos/Don’ts list and examples provided above, you should know exactly how to break the ice.

The most important thing is to be yourself. If your online love interest is someone you might end up building a relationship with, the last thing you want is to have them fall for someone you are not.