Casual Dating To Relationship Reddit
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- Casual Dating To Relationship Reddit
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Feelings are a funny thing — they’re unpredictable, uncontrollable and intangible. One day, you’re in a casual situation with a cutie and perfectly content with the carefree conditions. The next, you’re fantasizing about your destination wedding in the Dominican Republic. So, there’s no denying that you’re feeling some feels, but what should you do about them? When you catch feelings for someone you're casually dating, how can you boldly let them be known?
First of all, let’s clear up a common misconception. We live in a generation where a casual relationship can mean anything from a friends-with-benefits situation to a monogamous understanding in which you don’t abide by labels or see any serious, long-term potential. Instead of “this person I’m dating,” it’s 'this person I’m talking to.” Thanks to dating apps, we’re inundated with potential options, which can make it more challenging to commit to one person. But that doesn’t mean that a casual situation can’t turn into something meaningful. In fact, a 2010 study published in Social Science Research revealed that people whose relationships start off with casual hookups can have just as rewarding a long-term relationship as those who take it slow.
Without a doubt, the scariest aspect of sharing that you’ve caught feelings for someone you’re casually dating involves the unknown of how they will react. Still, no matter how terrifying it may feel, Pricilla Martinez, an online life coach at Blush, stresses that this is always a conversation worth having.
“You want to make sure that you're on the same page as your feelings deepen,” she explains. “More importantly, if they're not on the same page, you don't want to continue investing in a dead end relationship. Allow yourself to cut your losses sooner rather than later by being direct.”
Board-certified psychiatrist Dr. Susan Edelman adds that it’s a crucial talk to have in terms of maintaining momentum.
- Casual dating is an entirely optional part of life and arguing over whether anyone should or shouldn't do it will only make things worse. Let them enjoy life the way they want to. As a side note: my rules for drinking are pretty similar.
- Why online dating is good. It’s interesting how, with certain patterns, you can make a great online dating profile.I spoke with Whitney Perry, the founder of the Single Online Dating Guide, who shared a great analogy.If you are wearing a dress that has zippers up the side, you can show what the dress looks like in a different way to different people by zipping it up a bit.
- If your dating life has been lackluster, or if you’ve taken a long break from dating, casual dating can be a way for you to gain knowledge on dating and the opposite sex. Then when you are ready to move on to a more serious relationship, you can be more confident in your abilities to build a strong, lasting relationship.
It seems like everyone these days is looking for a casual relationship, and maybe you are, too. But if you've never been in a casual dating situation before, and you've never been through all the.
“Telling someone about your feelings can help you move the relationship forward,” she says. “If you don't tell them, you might be stuck where you are, or you could end up in the dreaded friend zone.”
So, how should you go about this nerve-wracking conversation? Chris Armstrong, a relationship coach and founder of Maze of Love, tells Elite Daily that it’s important to first define your feelings.
“Make sure you understand the feelings and what they really are,” he explains. “While 'serious' can sound and feel deep, these feelings can very well be impulsive and more based on the heart than the head.”
And Martinez agrees that it’s crucial to gain some clarity so you can be more articulate and honest in your conversation.
“You should be clear on what you're asking for,” she explains. “Do the feelings mean you're ready to have a committed relationship? Do they mean you're just open to exploring the possibilities?'
Once you’re clear on how you feel, Armstrong says you have one of three approaches. The riskiest approach means “putting it all on the table” in hopes that the other person will do the same and of course, that they share the same feelings. The “non-committal” approach is a little sneakier — it’s all about playing it cool. This entails being more careful about what you say and how you say it so as to hint at your feelings without losing face if the other person doesn't reciprocate your feelings. The “measured” approach is all about being mindful about how deep your expression goes without hiding your feelings. And according to Armstrong, this is the best way to go.
“Some may say that this approach doesn’t allow you to put your authentic feelings out there and thus it's fake. I disagree. What we must understand is that our feelings are our own — someone else not being in the same place at the same time isn't a travesty and it doesn’t mean that there isn't future potential.”
If you're finding it difficult to have this conversation with the person you’re casually dating, Martinez recommends considering why. For example, if you feel highly uncertain about their feelings for you, she suggests exploring their philosophy on relationships in general.
“If they have a pattern of not committing, then that may be a sign that they like their freedom,” she says. “But you also think about what you have communicated. If you've been playing it really cool, they may not even be aware that you are looking for something more serious.”
Martinez says it can also be helpful to ask yourself some questions about your crush, including their dating past and relationship patterns, as well as their current behavior.
“Ask yourself: Are you meeting their inner circle? Are you included in plans with them? Are you invited to leave any belongings at their home?”
If using your words still feels intimidating, don’t underestimate the power of non-verbal cues.
“We have plenty of ways to tell someone we’re interested without expressly stating it,” says Dr. Edelman.
For example, making plans with someone a few months down the road indicates that you see this going somewhere. Observing how they react to this will tell you a lot. If they don’t seem comfortable with scheduling something that far in advance, they may not be interested in a long-term relationship.
The bottom line? This is a no-risk, no-reward situation.
“If you want to move forward, you have to feel the situation out and be willing to risk rejection,” adds Martinez. “If you don't try, you'll never know.”
Once you’ve considered the worst-case scenarios, you’ll realize that you really have nothing to lose. If someone doesn’t reciprocate your feelings, you can either continue your casual relationship (without expecting their feelings to change), or you can walk away and re-open up your heart for someone else — someone who’s looking for the same thing. Remember: There’s nothing wrong with you. Developing feelings for someone, even if you have a casual understanding from the get-go, is totally natural and understandable. In fact, it’s a great sign. And if the person you’re seeing now isn’t able to return those feelings, someone else will.
It seems like everyone these days is looking for a casual relationship, and maybe you are, too. But if you've never been in a casual dating situation before, and you've never been through all the phases of casual relationships, you might be worried about how keeping things casual will go for you.
Sometimes casual dating works out perfectly for all people involved, and sometimes, well, our emotions aren't always on our side and feelings can get in the way and complicate things. But that doesn't mean that a casual relationship can't be fun and fulfilling, it just means that you and the people you date need to communicate and be on the same page (just like with any relationship). Casual may not mean making a serious commitment, but it also doesn't mean that you or the people you date can just not factor emotions into it at all — you're all human, after all. And the key to any healthy relationship, no matter how casual or serious, is respect and consideration.
Anyway, whether this is your first foray into the world of casual dating or you're basically a pro at it now, you can probably relate to these phases of being in a casual relationship at one point or another.
Casual Dating To Relationship Reddit Women
Maybe you just got out of a serious relationship, or maybe, on the other hand, you haven't dated anyone in a while. Either way, you know you're not looking for something serious right now. It feels like even just the thought of committing to another person stresses you out, but that doesn't mean you don't want to go on dates, meet new people and have some fun — and that's totally fine.
If you've never been in a position where you're going on multiple dates with multiple different people at once, you're in for a bit of a challenge. Some people can just effortlessly put together a rotation of cool people to date and hook up with and it all totally works for everyone involved, while others struggle to even text the right people back at the right time. Casually dating several people at once comes with a bit of a learning curve, but eventually you figure it out and things start to calm down a little bit and fall into place.
Casual Dating To Relationship Reddit
One thing you didn't expect to experience in this casual relationship process? Catching a hint of feelings for one of your dates — and feeling a little bit jealous that you're not in a more committed situation. But you still don't want to be in a committed relationship, right? You try to push the feelings of jealousy aside, but sometimes you struggle with the fact that you can't see this person as often as you'd like to — and that your feelings aren't totally matching up with what you know you want and need right now. Emotions are tricky like that!
Having feelings for someone you're casually dating — especially when you know deep down that you're not ready for something serious — can be super confusing. You'll know you're in this phase when you've started to accept and move past the jealousy, but you're still not sure how to proceed. You want to keep seeing this person, but you can't really reckon with what that means for you yet. Do you have to commit to them to be with them, or are you happy with things as-is? What about them — do they want the same things as you?
As if you aren't struggling enough with figuring out what you want, now the person you've been seeing wants to talk about where things are going and if you're still on the same page. You go back and forth, internally struggling to figure out if you're down to make things official or not. But, the thing is, even though you've found yourself catching feelings, you know that you're still not interested in anything serious right now, so you ultimately decide to tell your partner that. Honesty is the best policy, after all.
Casual Dating Vs Serious Relationship Reddit
As with all 'So, what are we?' conversations in casual relationships, there are three possible healthy outcomes: 1) You both want to keep things casual and agree to keep seeing each other with that in mind, 2) you both decide you want to commit to something more serious, or 3) one of you wants something serious and the other doesn't, so you decide to end things. As per the last phase, you know where you stand, so what happens next depends on how your partner's feeling. Maybe you keep things going casually, or maybe it's better to stop seeing each other so no one gets hurt, but either way, you need to make a decision together.
The thing about casual relationships is that, just like full-blown, serious, committed partnerships, they're all different, and everyone wants something a little different out of them. What a casual relationship looks like for you might look totally different to someone else, and that's fine — what's important is that you figure out what works and feels right for you (and that you find a partner, casual or not, that is happy to be on the same page).
And the other important thing? Now that you've been through it once, you know what you need out of your next relationship, no matter how serious it is or not.
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